The Difference Between the Computer Guys and the Civilians

Every school has at least one. The person who you call when your computer doesn’t do what you want it to. We, install software, fix printer jams, do those “special projects” for our principal. We have a box of cables that we just can’t throw away. Sometimes we live in a computer lab, sometimes we have a closet somewhere. If we don’t have any formal designation, it doesn’t matter, everyone knows who we are. We are loved and we are hated. We are the computer guys.

Now, please don’t think I am a sexist. Many times the Computer Guy is not a guy at all. In fact, I have worked with many women over the years who the kids called, “The Computer Lady.” they have all been excellent at what they do and I have learned from them. Male or female, “Guy,” “Lady,”or “Person,” whatever you call us, you call us a lot.

What makes us different from the rest ? What do we have that others don’t have? Are we wired differently? Are we smarter? Is there a special gene? I don’t think so. We aren’t that special. There are a couple of things that do set us apart from the Civilians though.

People will bring me software that I have never even heard of and ask me to make it work on their machine. What do I do first? I read the directions. If things don’t go smoothly, I read the directions some more. I read the Appendix. I read the Frequently Asked Questions. I read the Common Problems and Trouble Shooting. Sometimes I even go on-line. We computer guys are the people who actually read the manual. We follow the directions. We do it so often that we build up an immunity to Boring. Because, believe me, those manuals are boring.

Time. Nobody has enough time. People say to me, “I probably could have figured this out myself, I just didn’t have time,” or “This would take me a week and you probably could do it in just a few minutes.” The truth is, I don’t know that I have more time than the “civilians,” but I am willing to spend my time helping them. We computer guys have already put in hours playing with technology and figuring out how things work. We love doing that. When we can use that information to help others, we feel good.

“Government Jobs.” Those little jobs that seem to pop up every year that your principal or someone else asks you to do as a favor. We make award certificates, programs for the musical, room signs for Career Day. Why do we do them? Because we said yes one time three years ago and people remember things like that. It is very hard to say no to your boss, almost nobody does. But it is the other “government jobs” that get you a reputation. People are smart. They send your friends to ask you. They ply you with promises of donuts, cookies and pizza. If you aren’t careful, you could get appointed to a committee...

Intuition, gut feeling, a sixth sense, magic. We have it. I have a friend that is a “Computer Lady.” She swears that she can work for an hour on a computer and not get it to work, and I can come over and do the exact same things she did and make it work. She calls it “The laying on of the hands.” Is it real? Frankly, I have just as many failures as success stories, so I don’t really believe in special powers. But, over time I do feel that we develop insight. Sometimes the information is locked away in your brain and you know the answer but you can’t quite put it in words. You try something and the machine works. Hurray! Magic? No, probably just a wealth of information that sends you in the right direction.

Why would anyone want to become the Computer Person? People like us when we help them and it is a nice feeling. Hopefully they like us for other reasons too, but there are always people that you never see until they have a problem. Over the years I have been the teacher that asks for help, and the one that gives help. When I am the one asking for help, I make a point of asking how things are going, talking about vacation, family. It is important for my friends to know that they are my friends outside of their ability to cure my network rights issue.
I have developed a philosophy that I hope people will appreciate regardless of what side of the Help Desk they are on. My friends and I call it, “Can Do.”

“Yes, I will try to help you.” Support means just that. You are a helper. The idea is to solve the problem so that everybody is happy. We have all seen those nasty computer tech guys on Saturday Night Live. The reason we laughed is because we know people like that. But it shouldn’t be that way. When I need help, I am grateful that the Tech people can solve my problems. When they can’t, I call other people for help.

Sometimes we “Can’t Do,” we cannot help. That is when people get upset. For example, teachers tend to store everything that goes together in one place. So, it follows that they put every computer document they have ever used on one floppy disk. “Why not, there’s room?” Then you try every technique and every piece of recovery software you know to resurrect those files and you can’t do it. Nobody likes to take that long walk down the hall to tell someone you couldn’t help them. Kiss those cookies goodbye...

I also won’t copy software for people to use illegally. If we have the kind of license that allows unlimited copies, by all means. But those are few and far between and nobody wants to get the reputation of being a pirate. I pay for my iTunes music downloads too.

After awhile you learn that there are some people who are “Frequent Fliers.” They always seem to need help and they always have a nonstandard problem. I have mixed emotions about these people. They can be very frustrating. But, these people are the ones who are willing to try new things and aren’t afraid. That is why they get in trouble. They are also the people we should think about training to be the next computer guy. Convert a Civilian!

We have all heard the expression, “Information is Power.” Some Computer Guys take that to mean that their knowledge is part of some mystical cult and cannot be shared with the public. They maintain their position by knowing what you do not. I disagree with this. I am perfectly willing to teach someone how to un-jam a printer because that might mean I don’t have to do it next time. If someone wants to know, I’ll explain, demonstrate, draw a picture. Maybe they will understand, maybe they won’t. I hope they will.

If another person understands the computer problems I solve, we can bounce ideas off one another and solve problems faster. There are whole Support Database systems that are designed to do just this sort of thing. I have often said that if I were to pour out all of the computer knowledge I have today into another person, I would still be ahead in a week. Because learning about computers is what I do. Civilians don’t do that.

This year I changed jobs from our Junior High School to our High School. They already had their own computer people. “Great,” I thought, “no support, no government jobs. I will have it easy.” Also, the High School is on the PC platform, not Mac. So, I figured I would pretty much be on my own. Nope. Within a few minutes on the first day I learned about the secret underground cult of Mac users in the building. “John, can you come look at the machine in my room?” Of course I can.