Found: Five Security Flaws in the Apple Powerbook G4!

Some of you no doubt have been the victim lately of the latest security breaches in the Macintosh operating system. By now you have already heard of the malware that, after you read about it, decide you wanted a copy of Microsoft Office that was less than 200 megabytes, downloaded the file, ran the script, it erased your home directory. Fortunately, I dodged that bullet myself. Caught a lucky break there...

Possibly you were a victim of the DoItYourself Virus. You know, the email reads, “This is the DoItYourself Virus. Step one: Please drag all the files from your hard drive to the trash. Step two: Empty the Trash. Step three: “Mooo Hoo Hoo, Haaa Haaa Haaa!” I’ve heard Norton Anti-Virus doesn’t work on this one.

Perhaps you have been unfortunate to have fallen for an even more personal affront. In this instance, a person will come up to you, point somewhere under your chin and say,”What’s this?” Then, when you look, they drag their finger up your face and say, “Gotcha!” Don’t retaliate, or the terrorists win.

I have been using a 12 inch Powerbook G4 for over a year now. While in the process of keeping student grades, editing a union newsletter, writing articles for Mac Using Educators, making Keynote presentations at conferences, showing photo slideshows of hot air balloons, and playing all my iTunes songs, I have encountered a few “Security” problems that I think everyone should be aware of.

1. Drop Dead Looks! Because this computer is so cool looking, everyone wants to check it out. I am so busy showing off all the cool features, it sometimes prevents me from getting my work done. Productivity goes down. That can’t be good for the nation. Why can’t those people go back to playing solitaire on their PC’s....

2. Promotes Chaos! The computer is too easy to use. It is so easy, I tend to put things off for later knowing I will still have time. Making a computer that can be used by just about anyone puts too much computing power in the hands of amateurs. Amateurs can be a little too creative, if you know what I mean.

3. Open Borders! Too many ports. I can plug a ton of stuff into this machine. It is just a matter of time before someone figures out how to control a weapon of mass destruction through one of these usb or firewire ports. I am already patenting the iBomb, so don’t even think about it.

4. Flight Risk! Access is too easy. Using iSync and my .mac account, I can easily sync files and use them on my Powerbook anywhere I have internet access. I could share information with anyone I want to, anywhere in the world. I could travel anywhere I wanted to and still use my account. Anywhere in the world! Anywhere that has a local television station that carries Star Trek. I could easily go underground and move clandestinely around the country. I have always wanted to move clandestinely. Of course I might have to lose a few pounds first...

5. Security Breach! Because my Powerbook is portable, it is very vulnerable to being carried off! I have to keep an eye on it every minute! You can’t leave it on the front seat of a car, you can’t leave it on your desk! Somebody with bad intentions toward our country could steal it. If anyone ever managed to steal my laptop, figured out what my password was, logged on, then sent emails to all my friends, they could conceivably take over the world! The reason that I haven’t taken over the world is out of courtesy. My mom raised me to never take over the world...